Celebrate Your Friends

February.

February is my least favorite month of the year. It’s cold, the sun tends to hide, and even the snow that’s on the ground looks gross. Plus, the excitement and cheer of the holidays is officially over and there’s nothing much to look forward to. Okay, I take that back- some people have a long weekend at the end of February, but most of us don’t. 

Oh, and there’s Valentine’s Day. The day of the year when advertisers tell us (guys especially) that we have to spend lots of money on the person we love to show them that we actually do, indeed, love them. The day when anyone who is single, for whatever reason, notices their “singleness” in a way that doesn’t occur any other day of the year (In fact, in college, my friends and I used to wear black in honor of “Single Awareness Day”). The day of the year that’s full of high expectations and often, big disappointments.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you love Valentine’s Day, you do you.  More power to you. I actually used to love February 14th before I was an adult. That’s when Valentine’s Day was funny cards, and craft projects, and more about friendship than romance. Honestly, I still feel the same way. I love buying silly cards and giving them to the people I care about throughout the year. Maybe Valentine’s Day has become more commercialized lately (Guys, get your girls a diamond), or maybe I just didn’t notice it as a kid.

This pull of loving a day to celebrate love, and hating a day that feels so “expensive to prove love” has bugged me for years. Which is why, when I was introduced to Galentine’s Day last year, my head (and heart) exploded. 

So, what is Galentine’s Day?

"Oh it's only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It's like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas." Leslie Knope (Parks and Rec.)

OMGeeze, yes. All of the yes, in fact. And you know what, it doesn’t even have to be February 13th (I was introduced to it on the 10th, or maybe the 17th… I don’t know, it was a Saturday).

What it should be, is a celebration of the amazing women in your life (guys, you could do something like this do… just call it something else. I don’t know what. My creativity isn’t always on point, okay?). Brunch is awesome. You could do it at a restaurant, or host one yourself. But I’m giving you fair warning, this brunch may take all day. There’s something about getting a group of amazing and vibrant women together all at once that create an energy that you don’t want to leave.

If you’re gathering a group of women who don’t all know each other, there is nothing wrong with an icebreaker of some sorts. The fearless leader of the Galentine’s Day I was invited too (Kathleen, you are FRICKin Amazing!) led us through an icebreaker that not only helped us get to know each other, but forced us to share something we loved about ourselves!

Yes! Yes and more yes!

Ladies, we spend too much time complaining to each other about the things we wish we could change; our jobs, our hair, our thighs. We commiserate with each other, “Girl at least it’s your thighs, have you seen my arms?” as we think and talk about the things we don’t have, or don’t like.

Instead, let’s spend some time lifting ourselves up… and let’s be okay with that.

Why is it stranger to hear someone say “I love my body, job, life” than it is to hear someone say, “Ugh, I need to lose some weight”?

Why is it easier to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t love all or part of themselves, then it is to have a conversation with someone who does?

When did we make this a “thing”?

I don’t know the answer to that. And honestly, I’m doing all that I can to fix it (one client, student, friend) at a time. And that being said, I’m not perfect either. I regularly have bouts of self-doubt and self-depreciation.

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have one answer. Galentine’s Day. Get the amazing women in your life together, and lift each other up this month. And then, you know what? Do it again. Do it as often as you can. It doesn’t have to be February 13th, it doesn’t even have to be February.

Okay, maybe you only have one or two “big” Galentine’s-style celebrations a year (like I said, it can be a lot), but that doesn’t mean you can’t surround yourself with fabulous ladies once a month or every other month at the very least.

Trust me when I say, wherever you are in life, no matter what is going on, when you surround yourself with the right people things just get better. The more you lift each other up, the longer the “better” lasts. Seriously. I can’t wait for Galentine’s this year because I know I’ll have a “Joy Hangover” for at least a week, if not longer. And in FEBRUARY (which is saying something).

So what are you waiting for? Grab your calendar and text your ladies. It doesn’t have to be big, but you deserve it. Make it happen, you vivacious rainbow of joy!